If nothing cant be improved anymore...

altitude is what more important than its come...

so juz try our best in our life,
give no mercy to "giving up" and dont blame failure that have been made.

no matter what happen, continue our steps forward.


look at our back to remind ourself what probably gonna happen in front..not to critically critic our weaknesses...

we do have weaknesses, so that we can improve...what is gonna happen if we dont have anything to be improved in our life?...one word...BORING (maybe its not for losers)

why we eat? to improve our energy to do work

why we sleep? to refresh our body after working for whole day..

why we work? to improve our life style ( kalo byk duit bleh la g DFO ke, beli bungalow ke,)

why we have sex? (tak masal, tibe2 kuar) coz we wanna a family to cheer our life up.

cannot imagine juz rite after we're born:

1) already 6'5' tall (where is my childhood gone) dah besar panjang nak main pondok2 lagi, gitu ke?..dah tau ko tu dah besar ape lagik, tak der nafsu ke? unless ko tuh Down or KlineFelter)

2) got 4 wives n trillion kids already? (tak logik kot.. takkn tak bermukah dulu?)...

3) rite after we're born until now, we cannot sleep/sleeping is unnecessary..( cannot even enjoy ur first Wetdream...then how to know u already big boy?..manually prove by using ur hand?...yeww..but sometime arhhh....(matilah aku org pahm)...

one of the colors of rainbow in our life is the experience that we got to improve ourselves...tak gitu ke?

am i....! @ ?

bila aku start type menatng nih aku pon tak pastih yg tajuk kat atas nih sebenarnye soalan ataupon pemberitahuan...

arg!!!..
kepla aku tgh tin tong skang nih n aku tak leh nak study walopon aku sedar yg 2 hari lagik aku ader paper exam yg aku kene jawab(for my future good sakes!!)

oh man...
am i being honest to myself rite now?
im not even know d answer...

am i doing something that i rely wanna do now?
im not even clear wif d answer..

i'm curious abot people..
how many of us are rely doing something that we rely want?

how many of us (died or living) rely enjoy wif what we're doing?

how many of us doing something that we dont wanna do but have to do?

by questioning all of these, am i being ungrateful man?
and d answer is .............

sorry for being very personal on dis post...ignore it if its irritating for u...juz kinda remind myself of how to find The Real Me.....

ni sumer pasal si Hajar yg kene belash dek majikn dia..
dah 3 tahun dia kene dera like she is not a human or more likely un'brain' human....


i totally freak out when i saw her pic...she was tortured brutally wif some kind of pigs who're pretending to be human....what else is/more appropriate to define species that can torture the same species wif no mercy?....no wonder pigs can eat their own kids...not because of hungry, but its because they love to do so....(emotional la plak)

but what is wrong if we do something that we have to do..
can we get everything that we want?
can we expect everything goes the ways we want?

juz do,
juz do it,
juz do it ur best,
juz do it ur best n try to enjoy it....

i cant believe that i wanna stop here...

"CAN WE ENJOY SOMETHING THAT WE DONT LIKE?"

hambik kau...1001 soklan aku letak...nak aku letak soklan lagik?(habislah kene smash dgn Dz ngan Syaaz lps nih....."Ulloh",Syaaz......"ada aku kesah?", Dz

Nak bangun ke Tak Nak bangun?

"kita tidak kalah jika dan hanya jika kita berada di bawah dan bukan di atas, tetapi kita kalah jika kita tidak bangun setelah jatuh."


apa yang ko mencarott ni jang oi....terbelit mcm Vellu Punyer Sami ayatnyer aku membaca...

hari ini aku dengar Radio Sinarfm online.
diorng citer Pengalamn n Perasaan apabila harapn tidak kesampaian..

sebenarnye kalo aku kol DJ radio nih waktu nih, mesti aku plak jadik DJ radio nih,
sebb kalo aku ckp pasl bende yg tak kesampaian, mesti kalah esei Bioethic (1500words) aku carutkan..

antara pengalamn yg tak kesampaian yg dishare oleh pemanggil:
pemanggil: kecewa sebb laki saya tak pnah bawak saya pegi honeymoon sbb laki saya busy katanye...dia sentiasa outstation...tension I..dah 18 taun kawin

DJ: apa kerje laki akak nih? (dlm hati."laki orng nih mesti gaji angka 10jari nih"..)

pemanggil: laki saya bawak lori la uols....dia pegi outstation, tapi tak pnah bawak akak..kacewa sangats..sorb2...

kuang..kuang...kuang....outstation katanyer...


kalo aku kol plak, apa harapan yg tak kesampaian?:
1) tak pnah aku capai semua harapan yg aku harapkan bila buat azam tahun baru...(kalo nak list kang tak muat page ni kang...krukrukru..)

2) nak g US tapi tak layak..last2 kene maki dek kwn aku sbb tak syukur katanyer.."ko dah dpt g Ausie tu dah ok la tuh...aku sepak ala2 shaolin-soccer kang"-credit to shaolin soccer arahn stepen can cin cau.(ape kaitan?.tak masal)

3) nak kuruskn bdn..dari aku kecik lagik aku wat azam ni dua skali setaun tapi tak pnah nak capai(sekali 1 jan sekali lagik 1 Muharram...ko ado?-tak masal_)

4) nak kurangkn makan...(nak kurang mcm mane...asyik dok meRASA jerk..meRASA tuh dah mcm mentedarah ..pantang nampak.sume nak sapu..)

5) nak kurus
6) nak kurus lagik
7) nak kurus skali lagik...(pastuh kene smash ngan coursemate aku....ulloh...ko tu dah ok dah,cume ko tu je tak bersyukor....)

mcm mane la ko nak kata aku ok kalo naik jongkang-jongket pon aku tak terjongket.asyik aku jer yg menjongkang.
tapi tak pe, lps nih boleh buat azam lagik...
tak kish ar dapat capai ke tak, tapi yg penting kita Aim mesti nak tinggi..

bak kata orng, kalo nak Aim Biar Aim setinggi langit, kalo tak sampai langit, at least kalo kita jatuh kita jatuh atas awan..

kalo awan pon tak lepas, at least kalo jatuh kita jatuh atas gunung Everest...

kalo Everest pon tak lps sbb Ko tu obes mcm aku, mcm mane plak?
"dah tuh ko tak gheti2 nak g gym?"

(Malik Nor-jaguh bina Otot Mlaysia pon pnah buat statement yg dia dulu tak penah semayang n tak pnah puasa.tapi lps suatu hari yg dingin, dia terdengar Azan sambil pakai Boxer, trus dia insaf n nak tobat.
"lps saya dgr Azan tuh, saya rase resah dan bersalah...esok tuh trus saya [egi Masjid India n beli buku berkaitan Islam"-katanya...
kaitannyer? Dia tau dia salah then dia betobat...kira bangun balik lps jatuh la tuh...)#dalam hati member aku.."ulloh..."#

ko gheti ke tak?
kalo tak gheti
ada,

ada,

ada,

ada aku kisah?- credit to my member jugak sbb tak jemu2 sebut bende nih...krukrukru

kalaulah kita tak membesar

ntah sebab ape ntah...
tibe2 jerk kepala hotak aku berkata "hurm..best tak kalo kita tak membesar?"


soklan yg menarik untuk aku bincangkn dalam sistem pemikiran aku....
kalo aku tak membesar mungkin aku akan:
1) tgk cartoon banyak2
2) main psp sampai lebam
3) bogel mandi kat paya/sungai sampai terbenam n lebam

pitam mak aku tgk kene 'sunburn'..mane nak dapt sunprotector kat sungai golok...

4) g skolah sbb nak main ngan kawan
5) tak wat keje skolah kat umah..sebb kalo dah siap mcm mane nak tiru kawn kat skolah
6) g jln2 pusing kampong carik duit raya
7) mintk duit kat mak sbb nak beli cekedis

sambil letak kat sumer jari yg wujud kat anggota bdn aku...alangkah nikmat pabila mengulumnya sambil tunjuk kat kawn2 yg tak der...nak skit?..beli sendiri...2posen(20sen) jerk...suh ar bapk ko belikn....

8) main pondok2
9) main
10) main lagi
11) main kuasa dua
12) tak sudah2 main

masalah budak kecik:
1) tak besar
2) tak tinggi
3) siang pendek sgt(mane cukup 12 jam nak main)
4) kene pegi kedai sbb mak suruh..(kalo nak cekedis, takyah suruh pon takpe)


Tapi kalo aku tak besar:
1) tok leh ada awek( sbb tak mampu...krukrukru)
2) mane leh bawk motor g menyundal
3) nak g air terjun ngan members n awek pon takkn dapt
4) lepak kedai mamak tgk gusti/ ye r...bola sepak skali
5) beli kasut Nike/Adibas/Filas..(nak kene libas ngan bapak ko kalo beli kasut mhl2.beli cap BATA-ng sudey....)
6) tak leh ade kreta sendiri
7) tak leh nak maki mamat2 rempit kat Jln Bukit Bintang
8) tak leh nak overnite kat Masjid KLCC lps ronda Bukit bintng kol 4pg(wusya minah/mat lorong cari pelanggan.yewww...)
9) tak leh ini
10) tak leh itu
11) tak leh bagai

sampai ke kaki kau jang oi nak bawk hammer aku nih?...hammer nak ketok pala kau yg degil tuh boleh la...

pikir2 balik,
walopon jarak aku ngan kubor makin pendek, tapi rase bersyukur la plak sbb besar...
sebab aku percaya
" ade satu bahagian, kalo besar n ganteng....amatlah indah dan nikmat dikongsi bersama untuk kegembiraan diri sendiri dan orng dikeliling kita"......

dan bahagian itu..
ialah

ialah

ialah

ialah lagi....

cinta yg tersemai di hati kita yg bercambah dan berbunga bersama org terchenta.....
(tak masal kua ayat separuh jiwang plak dah)...dlam hati"btol ke bahagian yg ko bg ni???...musykil sgt....hurm..."

pikir la sendiri kalo ko dah besar

krukrukru

Memori Tanpa Tajuk...

Kenangan Lagu Tiga Kupang, dan Lalakan Di Pondok Buruk...





Kini umur Roy 20 tahun. Roy kini mula sedar yang dia selalu tanya diri sendiri tentang dirinya. Roy seolah tak percaya yg dirinya kini berumur 20tahun. "betul ke aku ni dah 20 tahun? Tapi kenape tak rase mcm 20 tahun pon?" desas Roy dalam hatinya kapan kali.

Roy anak kelahiran sepasang suami isteri pekebun ladang getah sudah tegar dan lali dengan suasana kampong yang sunyi. Sjak kecil lagi, dia telah diajar untuk tidur di kebun getah seawal 3-4 pagi. Bertemankan asap ubat nyamuk Fumakilla Kepala Gajah dan pelita gasolin, dia tidur di pondok kecil yang dibina ayahnya. "Eee.. bila la abah nak buat rumah betul-betul kat ladang nih? Pondok ni dah la buruk," keluh Roy dengan fikiran jahil,kebudak-budakan dan tanpa syukurnya.

Sering kali Roy akan menangis untuk menidakkn arahan ibunya untuk bangun dari tilam empuk dan selimut hangatnya, tetapi apakan daya, seraya mendengar suara ayahnya, lidahnya terkelu dan terikat diam, seolah2 arahan itu adalah arahan Dewa yang jika diingkari, maut menimpa.


Roy masih ingat, dengan mulut terkunci, hanya matanya yg berlinangan dapat memberitahu betapa terseksanya dia mengikut arahn yg tak pernah disukai. Sewaktu itu Roy hanyalh budak hingusan berumur 3 tahun yg lebih rela menyedut mukus dari trakeanya daripada menghembusnya.

Lagu tiga kupang,
Saku penuh padi,
Lima ekor burung,
Masuk dalam kuali,
Bila sudah masak,
Burung nyanyi saje,
Tentu sudah mask,
Beri pada Raja,

Raja dalam rumah,
Buat kira-kira,
Suri dalam dapur,
Makan roti gula,

Dayang tepi kolam,
Mahu uli tepung,
Datang burung hitam,
Patuk batang hidung,hidung,hidung....


Tak pernah lekang dari ingatan Roy lagu zaman kecilnya. Lagu yang menemani sunyi Roy tatkala menemankan ibunya menoreh batang getah.
"Amboi, sedapnya suara anak emak sorang nih" puji ibu Roy sambil menoreh batang pokok getah demi mencari rezeki.

Roy masih ingat juga, ketika itu dia cuba menarik perhatian ibunya dengan menyanyi lagu Inggeris,tetapi yang keluar dari mulutnya,

Twinkle twinkle little star,
how i wonder what u are..
Up above lalalala....
lalalalalalalala...


ulang dan ulang tanpa penghabisan kerana dia tidak tahu lirik lagu yang sepenuhnya....


2 b kontineu.........

Friend.....

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."
- Stone Temple Pilots

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."
- Dave Matthews Band

"Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long, 'til I'm going to need somebody to lean on."
- "Lean On Me"

"In good times, in bad times I'll be on your side forever more, that's what friends are for."
- "That's what friends are for"

"Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky, there would be no love in my life, there'd be no world left of me."
- Leann Rimes

"Let me be the one you call If you jump, I will break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night, If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart,
If you need to crash, then crash and burn, you're not alone"
- "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden

"I pull you from your tower, take away your pain, Show you all the beauty you possess if you'd only let yourself believe"
- Sarah McLachlan

"Once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night, You gave me everything you had and oh, you gave me light"
- Sarah McLachlan

"Goodbye my friend, I know you're gone, You said you're gone although I can still feel ya here, Its not the end, Gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear."
- Spice Girls

"I'll stand by you, Take me into your darkest hour, I wont let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you, and I'll never desert you"
- The Pretenders

"Every now and then we find a special friend, Who never lets us down, Who understands it all, Reaches out each time you fall, You're the best friend that I've found."
- "Remember Me This Way" by Jordan Hill

"For a shield from the storm, for a friend, for a love to keep me safe and warm... I turn to you. For the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on...for everything you do, for everything thats true, I turn to you."
- "I Turn to You" by Christina Aguilera

"I'll give you strength, I'll give you hope. Keeping your faith that is gone. And the one you should call was standing there all along."
- "This I Promise You" by N*Sync